I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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