What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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