Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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