How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
