I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude i'm inner monologue high
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
