that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
