I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
