Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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