the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
