Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
