Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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