It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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