Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
