We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize