you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
