i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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