I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We are all done wearing pants today
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
