while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
