I puked a lego.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
