I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
