okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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