either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
