I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
