I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
