Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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