Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize