dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
