I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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