I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
false alarm. still invincible.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize