Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
