is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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