Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize