Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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