some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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