the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
