Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
