I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
