i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize