I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
