weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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