he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
