Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
