The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize