We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
