Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
