weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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