come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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