But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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