I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
