There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize