Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
