Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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