so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
