you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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