If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
