they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
