worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
