i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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