i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
