do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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