I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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