theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
When are your genitals available?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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