we're blogging at a bar
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
