I can text with my tongue
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
