Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
