is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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