it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
