Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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