I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
