did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize