If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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