Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and she was petting her beer can
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
