he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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