She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
