i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
